Catnip futures slid 9 percent this week, amid reports of an oversupply in the north garden and a rumour that a neighbour had planted more. Traders on the floor were seen pacing, grooming and, in one case, lying face down on a keyboard.
Our advice: do not panic. A bear market is merely a bull market that has gone for a lie down. The Chairman has authorised a buyback of 40 pouches at 2.20 dollars each, and expects the price to recover once the neighbour is distracted. If you hold catnip, hold it. If you hold it too hard, wash your paws.
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