Market Correction: Several Items Fell Off The Desk

The Rodent 50 fell sharply this afternoon, shedding 7 percent of its value after a pen, a stapler and four mice were knocked from the Chairman’s desk. Analysts are calling it a market correction. The Chairman is calling it ‘a bit of a mess’.

Trading was briefly suspended while the items were retrieved from beneath the radiator. Seven of the eight were found. The eighth, a brass mouse of considerable value, remains at large. We have offered a reward of 20 dollars to anyone who can locate it, and a formal apology to the floor.